Knock on Wood

OK, what a pun.
Last year was a grueling one (i.e., slow and sporadic) for David's biz, and since I am his #1 office employee, not to mention part-time artist and writer - i.e., mostly unemployed - it was a rough one, indeed. And since we live in one of those booming metropolises where Wal-mart is king and you have to wait for someone to die in order to get a job at Target, (15% unemployment, at last check), I was no help - financially, that is.

But so far so good this year, at least as far as David's biz is concerned. But, alas, I am still the Loser.

And so when our ex-realtor/David's golf buddy stopped by the other night and told us he was getting out of real estate and, boy, I should get my realtor's license -he has listings for me!- um, well, here I am studying for the other loser industry this world has to offer, Florida real estate.

"Hey, it's not like you can do much worse than your art and writing career," David says, cheerily. What a sweetie.

And so here I am reading about U-traps and electrical systems - on the treadmill. It's the only way I won't fall asleep while studying this stuff.

I am alarmed by the amount of building lingo I do not know.

"What is a U-trap? Is it in the wall or the floor or what?" I ask David at dinner.
The study guide I have is not only boring, but it is extremely vague, with few pictures. Bummer.


"You mean a 'P trap'?" he asks.

"No. I mean a 'U trap.' That's what the book calls it."
"Goes under sinks and toilets? Shaped like a 'P'?"
"I guess."
"Equalizes the pressure of sewer gases and the like so the house doesn't blow?"
*sigh*
"Yes," I mutter.
He gets up and walks into the bathroom. Points to a squiggly pipe the beneath the sink. Shaped like an 'S.'
"That's a 'P trap.'"
"Okay, that is really shaped like an 'S.' It is nowhere near a U. Maybe a P - in Arabic or Czech or something...."
"'P, U, S - whatever..." he says and goes back to eating dinner.
Ew. A 'pus trap'?